The List

7 Apr


I don’t have a large number of people that I consider good friends.  It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the women that I do consider friends that keeps them from being GOOD friends.  It just seems to take me a long time to cultivate the type of relationship that I would consider close/special/true.

I’m sure we could get into the psychology of what this means and why it is, etc.  But I think it’s simply the fact that #1 I have four younger sisters and those relationships raise the bar on what I expect from my relationships with other women, and #2 I was let down by my mother at a very young age and probably don’t inherently trust/feel comfortable with ladies.

Whew, #2 was hard to admit.  I really don’t want to feel that way, but regardless- I guess I’m more about quality than quantity.

Three of my oldest and dearest friends live in Lubbock.  One friendship is 25 years old!  The others are 18 and 15.  I’ve basically known these women more than I haven’t.  I feel like they know every single part of me and still accept me for who I am.  That is an amazing resource and freedom.

One of these ladies recently gave me a task to complete.  She asked me to make a list of 20 things I want in a man. (Not necessarily today, but when I’m ready).  I made my list and checked back in with her.

Then I was to choose 5 things that I couldn’t live without.  The idea being that if I found someone with these 5 things, the rest of the list probably wouldn’t matter much because my real needs would be met.

It was harder than I expected to come up with 20 things!  I had some duplicates like humble and down-to-earth which are basically the same thing.  But after some tweaking, I think I had a pretty accurate list.  The top 5 were pretty easy to choose.  So, here’s my list:

  1. Honest
  2. Chemistry/Connection
  3. Spiritual
  4. Passionate
  5. Good Communicator
  6. Respectful
  7. Stable
  8. Motivated
  9. Sense of Humor
  10. Good Taste in Music
  11. Healthy
  12. Intelligent
  13. Open Minded
  14. Provider
  15. Thoughtful
  16. Down-to-Earth
  17. Affectionate
  18. Courageous
  19. Faithful
  20. Mature

I can already see how this list might change over time as I change or my needs change, but I don’t imagine that the top 5 will ever be very different from what it is now.

What would your top 5 be and why?

One Response to “The List”

  1. Mom at 3:02 pm #

    1). Honest
    2). Emotionally available
    3). Flexible
    4). Respectful
    5). Giving

    When I became the person who would attract the person who had these traits, he was put in my life!!!!

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