Lubbock and Leave it

28 Aug

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Dear Lubbock,

I came to you battered and bruised.  I came to you without hope or vision of my future.  I came to you for comfort and clarity, but I’m leaving with so much more.

Almost two years ago, I knew I had to come to you.  I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to.  Eventhough you were my home until I was 17, you felt foreign at first.  I showed up in the winter and my icy heart felt right at home.  

But then you surprised me with a great job and a cozy place to live that I could actually afford.  And spring arrived as I was settling in.  I started to wonder if maybe I could trust myself after all.

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It was a bumpy ride for a while.  I made so many mistakes, but you were so forgiving and understanding.  You kept me steady when I wanted to fall apart.  Your people, your sunsets, your familiarity made me feel safe and welcome and home.

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I really fell in love with you this year.  Once I got involved with the Caprock ward and decided to focus solely on my spiritual health, my whole life changed.  My heart changed.

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Then my career changed.  And it meant that I had to leave you behind.  This pains my heart more than I can accurately express.  But I’ve prayed about it and I know it’s what I must do.

Please don’t think for a moment that it means I don’t love you.  I certainly do.  I’ve shed so many tears at the thought of leaving you, but I have to admit that I’m excited too.

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You healed me.  You gave me the opportunity to move past the horror I’d been living with for too long.  Now it’s time for a truly fresh start.  And that’s exactly what this is.

So, thank you.  I love you.  And I’ll be back.

Brandi

2 Responses to “Lubbock and Leave it”

  1. Hilary at 8:29 pm #

    This is lovely, Brandi. I will miss you. Visit often, and best of luck in this new chapter of your career and your life!

    • brandijanelle at 8:55 pm #

      Thank you Hilary! I’m so glad Lubbock also brought me you! I’m going to miss you too!

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