Lubbock and Leave it

28 Aug


Dear Lubbock,

I came to you battered and bruised.  I came to you without hope or vision of my future.  I came to you for comfort and clarity, but I’m leaving with so much more.

Almost two years ago, I knew I had to come to you.  I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to.  Eventhough you were my home until I was 17, you felt foreign at first.  I showed up in the winter and my icy heart felt right at home.  

But then you surprised me with a great job and a cozy place to live that I could actually afford.  And spring arrived as I was settling in.  I started to wonder if maybe I could trust myself after all.


It was a bumpy ride for a while.  I made so many mistakes, but you were so forgiving and understanding.  You kept me steady when I wanted to fall apart.  Your people, your sunsets, your familiarity made me feel safe and welcome and home.


I really fell in love with you this year.  Once I got involved with the Caprock ward and decided to focus solely on my spiritual health, my whole life changed.  My heart changed.


Then my career changed.  And it meant that I had to leave you behind.  This pains my heart more than I can accurately express.  But I’ve prayed about it and I know it’s what I must do.

Please don’t think for a moment that it means I don’t love you.  I certainly do.  I’ve shed so many tears at the thought of leaving you, but I have to admit that I’m excited too.


You healed me.  You gave me the opportunity to move past the horror I’d been living with for too long.  Now it’s time for a truly fresh start.  And that’s exactly what this is.

So, thank you.  I love you.  And I’ll be back.


2 Responses to “Lubbock and Leave it”

  1. Hilary at 8:29 pm #

    This is lovely, Brandi. I will miss you. Visit often, and best of luck in this new chapter of your career and your life!

    • brandijanelle at 8:55 pm #

      Thank you Hilary! I’m so glad Lubbock also brought me you! I’m going to miss you too!

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