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Double Dog Dare Ya

4 Jan

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I must say, 2013 turned out to be a pretty stellar year. What made it so great? Personal progress.

I started out the year in one of the lowest points of my life, but through the love of a dear friend I started making steps in the right direction. Once I got active in the church again, everything started coming together.

The culmination of the year had me preparing to take yet another big step in my personal progress and I’m very excited about my plans for 2014.

Speaking of the New Year, I don’t generally make resolutions. I pretty much always have goals I am working on year round, but this year I felt moved to participate in My One Word.

So maybe I’m feeling a bit feisty lately. It happens. But I’m tired of approaching life so meekly.

Some of you are probably thinking, what? Meek? Brandi??!!??!!

Ok, maybe the word is scared. Fearful. Shy.

The point is that when it comes down to it, I don’t pursue the things I want the most because-

I wouldn’t dare.

Change to the natural/clean/whole foods lifestyle I really want to live:

I wouldn’t dare.

Put it out into the universe exactly what I want to be and do. (Hint- not what I am now)

I wouldn’t dare.

Ask out the fella I’ve been eyeing for the past few months?

You get the picture.

And I guess I just really want to DARE.

How am I ever supposed to get where I truly want to be if I don’t try? I’m tired of staying stagnant because its safe. I’m tired of telling myself that I’ll do those things someday.

I’m starting today. Babysteps in the right direction. Being purposeful in my daily decisions is a good start.

I dare you to take some steps toward your heart’s desires this year!

The Experiment

22 Dec

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A few months ago, my ward’s Relief Society was passing around a book- The Faith Experiment, by Laurel Christensen. This little book that took me an hour to read packed a powerful message and helped me realize that I was standing in the way of my hopes and dreams.

When my divorce was finalized two years ago, I decided my chances of having a family died with it. I made this decision in order to protect myself from further disappointment and pain. A family is all I had desired for so long, but I knew I didn’t want to just run into my next relationship with only that in mind. I knew it would take time for me to be truly ready to love again. Considering that I was already in my early 30’s, time wasn’t exactly on my side.

It was easier to believe that I would just remain alone.

The problem is that my heart knows better. I still long for that family. The spirit whispers that a family is out there for me. Deep down there is still hope.

The problem is that I’ve been to afraid believe it. What if it never happens? Can I survive another heartbreak? Will my heart harden if I don’t get what I ask for? Am I even worthy enough to want such a blessing?

It’s a crisis of Faith.

I have to believe that my righteous desire for a family will be provided if I just ask, act, and believe.

I have to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask for Him to provide the desires of my heart. This has been the hardest for me to do so far. I promise to do it tonight.

I have to do everything in my power to be worthy and prepared. This requires my dedication and action. I have to show that I am ready for the blessing.

Finally, I have to believe that a family will be provided to me. Without faith, I will surely fail.

I’m ready to take the leap!

Pulling Teeth

12 Mar

pulling teeth A week ago, I went in for some major dental work.  I needed two crowns, same upper tooth on both sides.  I knew one side was in trouble because a filling fell out while I was going through the divorce and it just wasn’t on the radar at that time.  I had no idea there was even an issue  on the other side.  The cavities weren’t bad enough to require root canals, but we past the point of just filling.

Somehow I wasn’t prepared for what a crown would entail.  I had no clue they would be grinding my teeth down to nubs.  It was pretty upsetting.  I know why they had to do it.  It makes sense.  The process didn’t hurt, but my body was in distress for sure.  My heart was racing, I was light-headed and shaking.

They glued the temporary crowns on and sent me on my merry little way.  By that evening, they Novocaine had worn off and one side, they side that had never bothered or hurt before, was causing me excruciating pain.  The other side felt perfectly normal.  I took lots of over-the-counter pain meds and prayed the morning would bring me relief.  And it did for the most part.  I knew my dentist would be gone the whole next week, so I went ahead and called to make sure this was normal.  They wanted me to come back in.

After adjusting the temporary crown, I did feel some relief.  I was told that it may be sensitive and to just take ibuprofen as needed.  For the most part I’m fine, but every night when I lay in bed, that one side throbs and throbs.  It’s kind of crazy making.

The other night I had a dream that they put the permanent crowns in, but they were still bothering me.  I kinda lost it and ripped them completely out.

I thought it was pretty funny!  I told the girls at work about it and one of them said, that has to mean something – you should look it up!

So I googled it.

I found this link, among others.  To quote:

According to psychologist and dream analyst Carl Jung, if you dream about having a tooth or teeth pulled out and you are a woman, the dream symbolizes giving birth, either literally or symbolically such as giving birth to a new self or a project.

Your dream about pulling out teeth indicates that you are becoming more aware of your emotions. As such, it a sign that you are growing into self discovery, even if may at times feel painful.

Learn something new everyday.  What do you think?

Dreams

13 Sep

All of a sudden, I’m asking “What if?”

I’m remembering dreams from long ago.  Considering possibilities I’d determined were impossible.  Why?  That’s what I’d like to know.  Why not?

Do I have the courage to make those dreams come true?  Maybe I do.  We’ll see!