Archive | Weight Loss RSS feed for this section

Week 3 Recap

23 Dec

Last week was a very successful week, but I don’t have an official weight to share. More on that in a minute.

On Monday, I was very excited because I had tried something new. I made my own salad dressing. I also made my lunch salad the night before and weighed it to make sure I met the pound of raw veggies for the day. I used a little less greens than I have been. It was a delicious salad and I was able to eat it all and enjoy it! Food is definitely starting to taste differently to me!

I joined an “Eat to Live” support group on Facebook and shared my excitement. A woman reached out to tell me about her success over the last 9 months, and offer her support. I introduced her to Cassandra and we started our own little group chat. It has been incredibly motivating and inspiring!!

I continued to have a stellar week. Wednesday and Thursday were perfect eating days. I didn’t have even a bite that wasn’t on plan. I was excited to step on the scale early Friday morning and see what the results were.

I was leaving town at 6am that morning, headed to spend Christmas with my family. I had already packed a bag of food for the trip and was ready to go. When I stepped on the scale, I was disappointed. I thought I would have lost more than a few ounces.


Around 8:30am on Friday, I sent out this SOS to my girls and they immediately responded with optimism, support and advice. It was awesome. By that afternoon, we had agreed to focus on the fact that we are taking care of our bodies and the scale doesn’t matter. We would not weigh ourselves for the next two weeks:


I stayed on plan even through traveling! Even when the rest of the family was eating the Christmas meal. I have to admit that I allowed myself a piece of cake Saturday night, which I could only eat 1/3 of because it was so sweet to me. I also had some crackers and cheese that night while we played card games, but it was nothing like how I would have normally eaten.

Because I am a bit of a rebel, I did step on my aunt’s scale before I left and I was down to 276. I’m not counting it as an official weight since it was a different scale, wrong day, etc. I don’t plan to weigh myself again until Monday, January 5.

Week 2 Recap

15 Dec

I am currently participating in Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s Eat to Live 6-week plan to becoming Nutritarian.  You can follow along with my journey here.

Starting Weight: 279.0

Today’s weight: 281.8 (up 2.8 lbs)

Total weight loss: 8 lbs

This week will go down in history as the Bavarian Pretzel Crisis of 2014.


First of all, I chose to take this challenge during the holidays on purpose.  Sure, I could have waited until the New Year and allowed myself to partake of all the goodies I wanted these holidays.  I specifically chose to start now.  I suppose I wanted to go ahead and face the challenge head on.

The Christmas packages from vendors started rolling in last week… dark chocolate toffee with almonds…  boxes full of cookies…

I was doing pretty good until I lost my resistance to the toffee late one afternoon.  I had at least one piece everyday afterward, which still wasn’t horrible but definitely NOT on my plan.

Started out the weekend strong and then my church Christmas party happened Saturday night.  I felt like I should go since I’m still very new to the ward and trying to get to know people/feel like I belong.  I knew they weren’t serving anything I could really eat on my plan, so I decided just to eat small portions of the healthiest items available.  No desserts.

I was feeling good about the plate of food I ate, so I allowed myself a little dessert.  I think I had two cookies, but to be honest I can’t remember because it was completely overshadowed by what happened next.

A brother in my new ward is friends with a woman who runs the German bakery on the island.  Once a week they apparently get rid of tons of bread items by donating their leftovers.  There were BAGS of fancy (and expensive) breads in our kitchen.  They were encouraging everyone to go get what they wanted.  I saw person after person hauling away big bags full off goodies and curiosity got the best of me.

I knew better than to take one step into that kitchen!!

There were still three large flour bags full of bread.  I looked in one and right on top were two pretzels.  They were glorious and I knew I was doomed.  Soft pretzels are a major weakness for me.  There was no resisting.  I took them home and gobbled them up.

Have you ever heard of “sliver, slice, slab”?  It’s the idea that we tell ourselves that we can have just a little, but then we end up devouring the whole thing…  Well, my little allowances of a piece of candy here and there snowballed into pretzels and sadly beyond.  On Sunday, I had cheese-stuffed shells with garlic bread and even a donut.

What is the most telling to me is the way I have felt.  I woke up Sunday with a sore throat and felt lethargic all day.  Two days before, I felt like I was on top of the world.  It was obvious that my health was taking a hit thanks to all the sugar and carbs I had eaten.

By Sunday night, I was ready to get my act together again.  I decided to let it go and move forward.  This is a great learning experience and I know that I’m growing and my mentality is changing.

I’m off to a very strong start for Week 3 and hopefully I’ll survive traveling and my family Christmas next weekend!

Week 1 Recap

8 Dec


Completed week 1 of Dr. Fuhrman’s 6-week challenge:

Starting weight: 289.8

Today’s weight: 279.0 (down 10.8 lbs)

Total weight loss: 10.8 lbs

Um, wow.  I weighed myself at least 5 times this morning just to make sure.  Shocking results – especially when you hear about my week.

Day 1-

Started the morning with a smoothie and apple and was pleased.  Then lunch happened.  I made myself a GIANT salad of mixed greens, lots of raw veggies and some Mrs. Dash and Pomegranate vinegar.  I also heated up some black beans, added some Mrs. Dash and pico del gallo.  The salad was yummy at first, but the beans weren’t.  The no salt thing is a big hurdle when it comes to beans for me.  But I also didn’t spice them very well.  I started out by eating a few bites of salad and then a few bites of beans, but I was hating the beans, so I ended up adding them to the salad.  A few minutes later, something flipped and all of a sudden, the salad was disgusting.  I got to the point where I was taking a bite, chewing it up and then taking a big swig of water to wash it down.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to die.  All I could do was think about how I would go through this everyday and I was going to fail!  I finally had to give up and throw out what was left:


I was so upset.  You have a goal of eating a pound of raw veggies and a pound of cooked veggies a day and I was so focused on making sure I ate it all and at that point I just felt like I would never be able to do it.  Yes, I overreact.

I got home and ate a few bites of pumpkin cheesecake.  Then I called Cassandra and confessed.  She whipped me back into shape and I decided to press forward.

I started eating my soup for dinner, and once again, it was delicious at first.  About halfway through, all of a sudden it was disgusting again!  I couldn’t finish it.  Once again, I was so dejected.  I called Cassandra again and afterward, I felt so much better and had made some decisions:

  1. I’m not going to focus on making sure I’m eating a certain amount of anything right now – just that I’m sticking to the things I can have.
  2. Going to eat salad and soup for lunch, beans and veggies for dinner so I can add more flavor to the beans.
  3. Calm down because I’m still eating much healthier than usual!

Day 2-

Lunch went SO much better.  Made myself a smaller salad and alternated between bites of salad and soup which seemed to help with flavors.  I finished everything and was super satisfied.  I also added orange to my salad which made a HUGE difference.  I was feeling like a million bucks.

I had plans with a friend that night and when I got home, I just didn’t feel like eating yet.  (Really, I didn’t feel like eating what I had to eat)  So I decided that I would just wait until I got home that night and I would be too tired and too hungry and I would just eat what I had then.  DUMB!  I totally just grabbed fast food on the way home.  Once again I felt like an idiot.  Lesson learned-

  1. Don’t wait until you’re hungry and tired to eat.  Zero self-control.
  2. Dinner is going to be the hardest time for me because it’s when I want to be comforted the most.
  3. Fruit makes everything better.

Day 3-

Started the morning with a phone call to Cassandra.  More confessions made.  She asked me if I had weighed myself yet.  I stepped on the scale and was down 4 pounds.  Even with screwing up!  It motivated me to keep going.

Breakfast and lunch were great, but when it came to dinner, I ended up screwing dinner up again.

Day 4-

Same story – breakfast and lunch were great, didn’t stay on plan for dinner.

Day 5-

Woke up late, didn’t get my smoothie made.  Didn’t get to take my lunch.  By the time I was able to eat, I had no self-control at all.  I totally gorged and was hating myself.

That night, I had a moment of clarity.  My food issues were ringing loud and clear.  Addiction, Compulsion, emotional eating…  I knew I had these issues, but at that moment it was undeniable.  THIS is why I needed to do this.  It isn’t about the weight – is about not being a slave to food.

I made a plan for Saturday and Sunday.  I am LDS and we fast for 24 hours the first weekend of every month.  We do not eat or drink for 24 hours (two meals).  There are several reasons we do this, but it’s a time that we can use to pray about specific issues we want clarity/help with.  I decided to dedicate my fast to this issue.

Day 6-

Another green smoothie for breakfast (I thoroughly enjoy them!!).  For lunch I water sautéed onions, mushrooms and spinach with some cumin and smoked paprika.  I put that mixture into a low-carb tortilla that I had toasted.  (thank you for the suggestion Cassandra!)  It was the most satisfying thing I had eaten all week.  Supper yummy.  I had two “burritos” and some soup and felt stuffed.

I started my fast with a prayer.  I asked for help overcoming my addiction to food.  I asked for guidance on what I needed to do to help myself.  I asked for greater understanding.

Normally, I really struggle with fasting.  This time I wasn’t very tempted at all.  I definitely felt strengthened spiritually.  I even went grocery shopping Saturday night without incident.

Day 7-

Started the day by reading DC 89 and a few other church resources on the Word of Wisdom.

I went to church and felt inspired by the testimonies and lessons – several of which were directly about the Word of Wisdom.  During RS, I shared a little bit about my experience this past week, and I felt confirmation that I am on the right track.  I need to press forward and I will achieve what I need to.  I also received direction to focus on scripture study and prayer right now to help me.

I finished out the day (lunch and dinner) on the right track.  My sister made an amazing dinner for her bunch and it was pretty tempting, but I made my own pot of Golden Austrian Cauliflower Soup (YUM!) and was grateful.

It was an abnormally tough week in general for me (issues going on not related to food) and I made it through.  And I’m over 10 pounds lighter!  The weight loss is great, but I care more about the spiritual breakthrough that happened.  Hopeful and happy!


And so it begins…

1 Dec


Starting weight: 289.8 lbs

Today is the day! A girlfriend of mine, Cassandra, started the 6-week challenge with me this morning. The photo above was taken of us about 6 weeks ago in Canadian, TX. Too bad I wasn’t holding the adorable baby so I could cover up that spare tire.

I am so grateful to have the support and expertise of a good friend! She’s done this before and is very knowledgeable. I’m a little scared – giving up sugar, salt and meat (not forever) all at once… It’s intense. I’m just so relieved to know I’m not alone in the good fight.

I’m thoroughly committed to completing these six weeks. I know it’s going to be amazing on the other side!!


1 Dec

It was my intention to get started with my new Nutritarian lifestyle today, but Saturday was one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong.  I managed to get all of my shopping done, which was more of a task than I thought it would be.  I had an excellent list, but it was still a little overwhelming.  Trying to buy enough produce for this diet is a struggle.  I also bought as much as I could from the bulk bins at Sprouts.  I fully intend to pick up what I can from the Farmer’s Market this coming Wednesday – especially greens!

I realize that anytime you start something new, you’re going to spend some up front money investing in items you need.  I had a budget in mind and I exceeded it, but to be fair, I have prepared food for more than a week.  In any case, I feel like I overspent and will be working on that.

I finally got around to prep cooking today, and this is what I managed to accomplish:

2014-11-30 23.24.54

1.  Smoothie Packs:

Breakfast is covered for the next 10 days!  I used several different recipes to create freezer bags full of nutritious breakfasts that will only require the addition of unsweetened almond milk or pomegranate juice (or both).  I can blend it up in no time!  There’s ground flax seed in all of them and one recipe calls for cocoa powder and dates. Should be interesting!

2.  Black Beans:

I used this method to cook 2 lbs of dried black beans, but without the salt.  I had to cook them for a total of 90 minutes in the oven and they were nice and tender thanks to soaking them overnight.  Once they had cooled, I measured out 1 Cup of beans into freezer bags and ended up with 12 days worth.  I plan to add pico del gallo to them upon reheating.

3.  Ukrainian Sweet and Sour Cabbage Soup:

This recipe is from Dr. Fuhrman’s Eat to Live Cookbook and was recommended by a friend.  You can also read this review from a fellow blogger.  You start the recipe by blending Granny Smith apples, prunes and water…  which was intriguing.  I doubled the recipe and ended up with 8 large servings of soup.  The broth is so yummy.  The apple is delicious but not over powering.

I will be taking an insane amount of food with my to work tomorrow.  It’s fantastic because everything is ready to go.  It’s gonna be great!

Here we go!


25 Nov

I’m turning 34 this week and for the first time ever, I’m having an issue with my age.  I know why it’s bothering me.  35 has always been this looming age in which my chance to have children would expire.  The old biological clock is ticking so loudly.  Like sands through the hourglass…

But I’m in no mood to drive myself crazy.  Life is REALLY good.  And I’m not giving up on having the family I desire, even if it isn’t a biological one.  And logically I know that I will be okay even if I never marry again or raise children.  I’m still working on feeling good about that spiritually.  (Mostly because I feel like it is supposed to be)

I can’t snap my fingers and make it happen, but I can prepare.  If you build it, they will come?

So, my birthday gift to myself is to make a commitment to getting healthier.  More specifically, I am committing to a 6-week plan to become Nutritarian.  I’ve been reading Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman upon the suggestion of two different friends – both also LDS.  They both feel that it is essentially the Word of Wisdom, and I would have to agree.


Of course, I want to lose weight.  But this isn’t a “diet”.  It is a lifestyle – much like being a vegetarian or vegan.  I’m committing to this 6-week plan because I am concerned about my health and in healing.  If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I have fertility concerns.  You also know that I’ve been struggling with my weight/health for YEARS.  I’ve had great success in the past with clean eating.  It’s how I lost the first 60 pounds and I’ve maintained it for quite some time.  The Nutritarian plan is clean eating, but more focused.

I’m going to spend Saturday prepping for the week and will start the 6-week plan on Sunday.  Luckily for me, another friend is starting at the same time – so we plan to keep each other accountable.  I’m going to be blogging about my experience weekly and sharing recipes, etc.

I hope you’ll follow along.  I’m going to need all the support I can get.

Biggest Loser

30 May

Soooo, it looks like I’m NOT the next Biggest Loser.  I suppose there’s still a chance we will be contacted since they still haven’t announced that all finalists were chosen, but it’s not likely.

But that’s okay!

The process of applying/making our videos/talking to the recruiter helped my family realize just how much we wanted to change our lives and how ready we are to do so.  We are determined to take charge of our health and are teaming up to do so!

Not the Biggest Losers

We all have different goals and different plans for our journey.  We are using this blog as an opportunity to hold each other accountable and share our successes and struggles.

I’m very excited!

Weighing In

27 Jul

Current Weight:  297.7 lbs
Loss:  -6.3 lbs
Total Loss:  -9.5 lbs
Emotion:  Whatever

It’s been 8 weeks since my last official weigh in.  So much has been going on, it’s kind of crazy.  I wasn’t really worried during that time whether or not I was losing weight- I was just trying to keep my pieces together.

When I first got here, 6 weeks ago (WOW), I immediately started working out.  I just wanted to try to make myself feel better, and it worked.  I guess it’s endorphins or adrenaline or something to that effect, but I started feeling much stronger.  

The problem is that I was still sad and confused and trying to understand why all of this has happened.  I can admit I got pretty bitter.  I wondered how much I have to go through in one lifetime.  I’ve already had a horrible childhood among other personal tragedies.  Seems like I’ve faced enough trials in this short life of mine.  I was having myself a regular pity party over here.  Maybe I still am.

All I know is that I’ve eaten enough bean and cheese burritos to last me a lifetime.  You see, food is my go to comforter and now that I live in a place that I can eat my childhood favorite, Taco Villa, I’ve been getting my fill.  Only it doesn’t actually make me filled.  It’s bad guys.  I’m well aware of it, but as of yet I haven’t been able to stop it.  

I need a Taco Villa intervention or something.  I’m working way too hard to keep sabotaging myself this way.

To keep this from being completely negative, just let me say that I’m stoked I hit a milestone of being under 300.  I don’t EVER want to go back.  

Back on Track

14 Jun

I can’t believe it’s only been a week since everything went wonky in my world.  It feels like an eternity.  But you wanna know the good news?  I’m surviving!  I’m even…  Smiling!  I know!

It was a roller coaster week and I swear just about everything that could go wrong Saturday, did.  My attempt to raise some money with a yard sale failed miserably, I got stuck for an extended period of time at my in laws, my a/c broke, and I lost my place to live when I get home.

BUT I woke up yesterday with a good attitude and determination and everything worked itself out.  I’m fully packed with the exception of all of my paperwork which is my project this week.  I’m going to attempt to purge and organize my boxes upon boxes of files.  I horde papers like no ones business.  I’ve always been afraid to throw anything away, but not anymore!  I’m not taking this clutter with me!

So anyway, I’m writing all of this to tell you that I’m trying to get back on track.  I was able to go to the grocery store this weekend and get some good food.  I’m not going to track my points this week because I just have way too much going on, but I’m going to eat 3 meals a day that are healthy and fall into the good health guidelines.  Plus, I have been doing so much physical activity, I’m pretty sure I’m losing weight.  My jeans are loose this morning!

I just want to thank you again for your support and prayers and well wishes.  They have meant a lot to me!

Oh, and I know I’ve posted this before, but many of you weren’t around back then.  I’ve been watching it everyday to remind myself that there is so much to be grateful for.


2 Jun

When I was a teenager, my dad and step-mom joined Weight Watchers because they both felt that they needed to lose some weight.  And they did.  But that’s not the point.  I remember my dad telling me that he liked feeling hungry because it told him that he was doing a good job.  And I thought long and hard about that.  It was the first time I imagined what I had always considered to be a negative feeling as a potentially positive one.

This idea has expanded for me over the years.  I had a pretty turbulent childhood and consequently have felt many emotions that I would consider negative.  At the same time, now that I have some years, and therapy, and perspective under my belt- I can see how these things had a very positive impact on me.  In fact, it is the very struggle that I’ve experienced that made me as strong as I am today.  Without it, I am sure I would not be the person I am.

I have this theory about the world these days.  It seems like we avoid any “negative” emotion at all costs.  We go out of our way to keep from having to experience these feelings that don’t necessarily feel good.  And we go to extreme measures to keep our loved ones (especially children) from possibly experiencing them.  And it is this very avoidance that ends up costing us more than we realize.

In an effort to avoid being hungry physically, I’ve kept myself from feeding so many other “hungers”.  I’ve known for YEARS that I would need to lose a significant amount of weight to have a healthy pregnancy.  My Dr. was willing to help me get pregnant, but I thought it would be selfish to put my child’s health at any possible risk.  Not to mention that I would be putting myself at risk as well.  And while I’ve made some attempts in the past two years, I’ve never been in this fight whole-heartedly.

And it’s not just about babies.

I’ve said it a million times before.  Even though I’m not looking to be super thin, I also don’t want my weight to be a lifetime struggle.  I want to develop a healthy relationship with food.  I don’t want to be in love with it.  I don’t want to be in my 70’s and still freaking out about 10 pounds and forever wishing I were thinner.  And yes, that’s based on a real person in my life.  I want to be living!

So, as I sit here and my tummy rumbles, I am grateful.  Hunger is my friend and a reminder that I’m doing something right.  It doesn’t hurt, but it’s a little uncomfortable…  But not nearly as uncomfortable as trying to squeeze into clothes, feeling eyes on me everywhere I go, trying to fit into booths at restaurants, swollen ankles…  You get the picture.

How has hunger helped you?