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Confession

22 May
I really don’t want to do this.
I don’t want to have to tell you about how far off plan I found myself yesterday.  I don’t want to admit to having Burger King and then later two bowls of brown rice with margarine and parmesan cheese.  UGH.
But in an effort to be true to this process and hold myself accountable, I have to come clean.
Why did it happen?
1.  I wasn’t prepared the last two days and I think it threw me off.  I didn’t have breakfast at all Friday, then ate a very low point lunch from Subway, and then in a moment of frustration and hunger decided to sabotage it all and get Burger King for dinner.  For Pete’s Sake!  That’s pretty much the WORST place I could have picked to eat.
2.  Because I’m gonna screw up from time to time.  I can give up or I can keep going.
I choose to keep going.
I got up this morning with a new attitude and I’ve had two good meals and I’m right on target for the day.  My indiscretion may keep me from seeing a loss on the scale Monday, so I’m prepared for that.
I’m approaching next week from a whole new angle.  I’ve already got a plan!  I will be sharing that with you next week, so stay tuned!
In the meantime, tell me- What are you most likely to break plan for?

A Big Deal

21 May

One of my favorite weight-loss blogs is Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit.  Jack is hilarious and straight forward- and I appreciate that.  He regularly does posts like this or this and they crack me up!

A few weeks ago, Jack asked his readers to write their own white notecards about why they want to get fit.  It has turned into a whole series called Why I do this here (W.I.D.T.H.).  I was super excited to visit his blog today and see that my card was featured in his latest post.

And you know what?  It was just the reminder I needed today.  It brought back my motivation.  I started to get really down on myself last night- how surprising!  I had to keep telling myself- “You are trying to change your entire lifestyle!  It’s going to be tough and it’s not going to be pretty!  Hang in there and keep up the good work.”

What is your motivation?

Will Power

20 May

I felt it start to give last night.  That little urge.  It was late, and I was still awake and I wanted to eat…

But I wasn’t hungry.

So, I wrestled with myself.  I had 2.5 of my daily points left and all 35 of my “bonus” points.  I could easily eat something without technically going off plan.  But that’s the rub.  Did I need to eat anything?  No.  I just wanted to eat something.  I kept thinking, “I should be in bed.”

Then I remembered that I had some slices of 2% Swiss Cheese, so I pulled out two and ate them.  I shared some with the dogs.  But I still wasn’t satisfied.  Back to the fridge…  I pulled out a container of cream cheese and ate the last remaining tsp.  I wondered “why did we save that with only a tsp of cream cheese left?”  And then I heard, “Go to bed.”

So I did.

I got up this morning and figured out my points first thing.  It was miniscule.  I had exhausted my points for the day, plus one.  So now I still have 34 bonus points at my disposal for the week, should I desire to use them.  But I really don’t want to.

Once I finished on WW.com, I was running late.  I left the house without my breakfast or lunch, without my water, and in frustration.

Oh, no!  I’m not going to let this get me down.  Yes, it’s a red flag.  I should proceed with caution.  But I’m not going to let last night or this morning ruin this for me.  It’s too important.  And I’m doing a good job, darn it!  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.

So, here’s the plan.  I’ve got some yogurt stashed here at work.  Going to go eat that now.  It’s okay that I don’t have some whole grain cereal or fruit to mix with it.  Something is way better than nothing.  Then, I’m going to pick up Subway for lunch.  Then I’m going to get a new color and haircut (thanks Taryn) and I’m going to feel good and be happy.  When that’s done, I’m headed to the grocery store for a few more things to stash at work so I’m prepared for days like today.

What’s your plan?

Let’s Get it Started!

18 May
Not nearly as bad as I expected it to be!
I’m sorry I’m just now getting around to posting!  I had hoped to get it all up last night, but it didn’t happen!
So, I was pretty happy about my 307.2 el bees.  It’s only 3 measly pounds heavier than my last WW weigh in on 1-12-10 of 304.2 lbs.  I’d only gained 3 pounds in the last 4 months?!  I’m sorry, but that was very good news to me.
I’m off to a running start today!  Had a good breakfast (greek yogurt and blueberries) and filling lunch (homemade chicken salad sandwich).  I’m not hungry yet!
What did YOU eat today?

100 in 365

16 May
You voted!  I’m listening!

Thank you so much to all of you who voted and gave your input.  I read all of your suggestions, prayed about them, and I think that I’ve come to a decision.

I’m looking to change my lifestyle, not just go on a diet.  I’m not just wanting to lose a lot of weight real quick.  I’m willing to take my time to make sure that this is a permanent change.  That being said, I also know myself and I do better on a structured program.  I also know that I need some level of accountability to stay on course.  So, for now I am going to join Weight Watchers.  The structure of the program will help me to get used to the lower calories before I make additional changes.

So basically I’m looking at this as a process to make a lasting and profound lifestyle change.  The process is going to go through stages.  I am going to make it a point to make sure that I stay true to this as a lifestyle change and not just a diet.  Clean eating and exercise will become a part of all of this soon!

I had this grand plan to weigh in this morning, take pictures and post everything…  Well, my scale battery was dead.  The battery is one of those watch batteries, so I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to replace it!  So look for a post tomorrow night!

Let’s Put it to a Vote

14 May

I’m kinda stumped guys and I need your help.  As I shared with you here, as of Sunday I am going to be back on the weight loss wagon.  I’m just not exactly sure what wagon I’m going to be on.

I don’t really want to join WW and have to pay $40 a month to follow a plan that I already know how to do on my own.  But I wonder if I will stick to it if I’m not going to the meetings.

To further complicate things, I’m really getting into Clean Eating.  It’s basically consuming food in its most natural state– or as close as possible to it.  It’s not a diet really, but more of a lifestyle approach to food and its preparation, leading to health, well-being and a lean look.

I’m wondering if I should possibly combine the WW program and Clean Eating lifestyle to have more structure, or maybe just stick to Clean Eating and control my portion sizes.

Regardless of what I do, I’m pretty well versed on what I should eat (veggies, fruit, lean meats, whole grains, dairy) and what I shouldn’t (fried, processed, msg, high fructose corn syrup).

So it looks like I’m going to need your help.  What do you think I should do?  Vote in the poll on the right hand side of the page.  If you think I should do something else, PLEASE tell me about it in the comments section!

A Lot to Lose

10 May

Would you believe me if I said that I think I’m ready to tackle this thing called food/eating/weight?  I wouldn’t if I were you…  It seems like I’ve been down this road too many times, broken too many promises to myself, made progress only to turn around a head back.  It’s been quite a battle.  One that I’ve mostly been losing.

So what makes me so ready now?

In short- because this is the only thing standing in the way of me having a baby.  And I want a baby more than I want anything else in my life.  And I think it’s ridiculous that I’m allowing my love of food to keep from something that I will love SO much more!

What is going to be different THIS time?

To be honest, I’m not sure.  For one thing, I will be doing all of the cooking thanks to my husband’s new work schedule.  That will allow me to be in control of what’s going into the meals and the portion sizes.  For another, I have spiritual motivation and support thanks to the Word of Wisdom.  And finally, there’s YOU.  Which means accountability.

I’ve been blogging about my weight-loss efforts for several years now and I’ve always been amazed by the support that my readers give me.  I’m kicking it up a notch now by being a part of several weight-loss blogs.  It’s awesome to see how many people are out there trying to achieve what I am.  And many who already have!

So, starting this weekend, I’m kicking off a new series- 100 in 365.  I’m sure you can decipher that my goal will be to lose 100 lbs. in the next year.  I know that sounds like a crazy goal, but at my size, it’s actually very realistic.  I plan to weigh in weekly with pictures and measurements.  I will be sharing everything with you- what I’m eating, how I’m doing, and what I’m feeling.  Should make for good reading!

I’m not going to go on some crash or fad diet.  I’m just going to eat less and better, and get some exercise.