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A Lot to Lose

10 May

Would you believe me if I said that I think I’m ready to tackle this thing called food/eating/weight?  I wouldn’t if I were you…  It seems like I’ve been down this road too many times, broken too many promises to myself, made progress only to turn around a head back.  It’s been quite a battle.  One that I’ve mostly been losing.

So what makes me so ready now?

In short- because this is the only thing standing in the way of me having a baby.  And I want a baby more than I want anything else in my life.  And I think it’s ridiculous that I’m allowing my love of food to keep from something that I will love SO much more!

What is going to be different THIS time?

To be honest, I’m not sure.  For one thing, I will be doing all of the cooking thanks to my husband’s new work schedule.  That will allow me to be in control of what’s going into the meals and the portion sizes.  For another, I have spiritual motivation and support thanks to the Word of Wisdom.  And finally, there’s YOU.  Which means accountability.

I’ve been blogging about my weight-loss efforts for several years now and I’ve always been amazed by the support that my readers give me.  I’m kicking it up a notch now by being a part of several weight-loss blogs.  It’s awesome to see how many people are out there trying to achieve what I am.  And many who already have!

So, starting this weekend, I’m kicking off a new series- 100 in 365.  I’m sure you can decipher that my goal will be to lose 100 lbs. in the next year.  I know that sounds like a crazy goal, but at my size, it’s actually very realistic.  I plan to weigh in weekly with pictures and measurements.  I will be sharing everything with you- what I’m eating, how I’m doing, and what I’m feeling.  Should make for good reading!

I’m not going to go on some crash or fad diet.  I’m just going to eat less and better, and get some exercise.

S.O.S.

13 Jan

I’m doing it again, people. Please help me out here because I don’t want to repeat this pattern!
My WI was last night and it didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I didn’t gain any weight, but I also didn’t lose any weight. Stayed just the same- to the very ounce. I was even wearing the exact same clothes! lol…
It shouldn’t have been a surprise (and it honestly wasn’t) but I’m still feeling all down and out. I’m getting that typical feeling that happens not too long before I just give up, and I’m not going out like that again.
No! I’m not.
The frustration I feel right now is with myself, but that isn’t even productive. I know better. So, here’s the facts:
We have made some AMAZING changes in our life here lately and all of a sudden, we have a LIFE. We went from the two of us sitting our lazy butts in front of the tv all evening, every evening to lessons with Elders, Family Home Evenings, Dinners with new friends, etc. And while we’ve enjoyed them- TRULY- it has thrown our household into a tailspin. The ONLY reason we haven’t completely lost it yet is because Havie is still not working and has time to make sure laundry is done and the house is clean. If it weren’t for that my friends, I would be sitting in a corner drooling. Seriously. I just can’t handle this much chaos. I’m a creature of habit. I like routines and structure.
SO- I’m just going to have to make it happen.
It all boils down to one crucial thing- Time Management. UGH. I am really terrible at this folks, always have been. It is totally standing in the way of my weight loss/health goal. It’s this terrible cycle of not being prepared and then resorting to eating whatever is convenient, and often being so hungry by the time that I do eat that I massively overeat.
I have got to figure it out though. Things are only going to get harder from here:
1. We were informed Sunday that we will be called this week as Co-Chairs on the Activities Committee. I am so excited because I’ll get to do some event planning! Of course that also means I’ll be needing to devote time to the cause.
2. I will be starting Visiting Teaching soon. Something I’m also very excited about- especially because my companion is someone I’ve wanted to get to know better. Again, also something that is going to require some of my time.
3. Havie is very likely going to be working again soon and then there will be no one to pick up the slack during the day. (It’s actually been quite a blessing having him at home)
I know that this is not just a weight issue. It’s a whole life issue. It’s making the majority of my life predictable, so that I may be able to enjoy the unpredictable without devastating consequences.
So, this is where you come in- How do you do it? Are there some tricks or skills I missed out on? How do you balance all of your obligations? I will try ANYTHING you suggest!

Say What?!!

6 Jan

Yes, just like that…
I stared at the total in utter amazement… I guess you could call it “sticker shock”. (hardy, har, har- had to throw a little WW pun in there for ya) But I honestly couldn’t believe it said that I had lost 7.8 L-B’s this past week.
YES! 7.8! I KNOW! I couldn’t believe it either. That’s alot. Even for a big ol’ gal like me…
Or is it?
Because then I promptly plunked my plump personage (try saying that 5 times fast) on the eliptical machine at the gym and did sweatin’ to The Biggest Loser. Isn’t that one the best? (p.s. they are really turning up the drama this season)
And it got me thinkin’…
Some people may look at 7.8 lbs and be like, NO FAIR. I can’t lose that much in a week! And it’s true, they really probably can’t because they would die. lol… But seriously, isn’t it all about the percentage (ala Biggest Loser style)?
So when you break it down like that- I started out 312 lbs. this week, so my percentage of weight lost is: 2.5% which seems MUCH more reasonable.
Most importantly, I realize that I won’t keep this up. My goal for next week is still just 2 pounds. I’m just going to continue to track my points and get in my work outs. (More coming on that last subject soon.)
And a final note- I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the fact that I’m really not doing this alone. Cayce and Ashley– you two may not realize just how much you keep me motivated, but I just cherish the fact that I can count on you two for encouragement and know you’re going through the same things I am. And beyond that, I am been blessed by so many friends and family who are cheering me on. And finally, I am so grateful to have a husband who is willing to eat good stuff with me and go to the gym with me. What more could a girl ask for?

The Stats

31 Dec

If you want to see pics you can click here, but do so at your own risk!

As of yesterday:
Weight: 312
BMI: 51.9 (Obese)
Measurements: (I’m only going to update this once a month)
Waist: 53″
Hip: 55″
Thigh: 19″
Arm: 18″
Interestingly enough, I looked back at my OLD myspace blog and compared my measurements when I was 313 lbs. back in June ’08. They are exactly the same except my thigh was two inches bigger back then. I wonder what that’s all about?
Oh well! I had a great day today. Ate all of my points and spent 45 minutes on the eliptical machine. Feels good!

#1

30 Dec

In the education field, we are taught to “Begin with the end in mind”. So, we know that by the end of the year, each one of our students are to have mastered the TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills) for that particular grade level.

My first year of teaching, I had to complete a project within the first few weeks of the school year using backwards design. I had to take the TEKS and plan out the ENTIRE year. If the students were going to have to be able to do long division by the end of the year, what did I need to teach first, next, and so on. It was an incredible undertaking, but it actually made my life SO much easier. I didn’t have to focus on what they had to do in the end, I could focus on this week, this day.

So, last night at my WW meeting, we were talking about goals and my leader used this acronym:

S- Specific
M- Measurable
A- Attainable
R- Realistic
T- Timely

And I started to really relate my personal goals to what I did as a teacher and making goals for my students.

So, goal #1 from my 30-before-30 list is to lose 100 pounds by my 30th birthday. Let’s check it out to see if it’s a good goal or not:

1. Is it specific? Yes.
2. Is it measurable? Yes.
3. Is it attainable? Well, this is where it starts to kind of get questionable. So, let’s break it down. I have 47 weeks (almost 48) until my 30th birthday. If I divide 100 by 47, that’s 2.13 pounds per week. Plus, I usually lose over 5 pounds a week for the first month or so that actually brings it down to below 2 pounds a week after that. So, it is attainable- Yes.
4. Is it realistic? Hmmm, I really don’t know. Keep reading as I break this question down.
5. Is it timely? Yes.

Now as for realistic… My first gut instinct is to say no, but I think that’s because I’m looking at 100 pounds and feeling the stress of such a big goal.

So, that brings me back to the topic of the WW meeting. We used the analogy of taking a trip, and it really hit home for me.

Just this past weekend, I made the long drive from Corpus Christi, TX to the little bitty town of Spur, TX (ESE of Lubbock). It’s a 7.5-8 hour drive, but I can’t think about it as an 8 hour drive or I just don’t want to do it. Instead, I think of it as a series of goals:

First, I just have to make it to San Antonio (Boerne to be exact) and that’s only 2.5 hours. We get out and stretch, walk the dogs, and generally take our time before we get back on the road.

Then our next goal is to make it to Eden, TX. It’s another 2 hours and they have places to eat lunch, so once again we take our time and take a break before we hop in the car for the next leg of the trip.

Our next stop is in Sweetwater, TX and then the last leg of the trip until we get to Spur. And that last leg of the trip can take the longest just because we know that we’re getting close, so eventhough we don’t stop again, we have all of these little landmarks that we look for as we got along (call them mini-goals if you’d like). The other thing that I do during the whole trip is think about what’s at the end of the trip, which is my family. And isn’t that the REAL goal? It’s not just to land in Spur, TX. It’s to be with the people that I love.

SO…

What if I take this big goal, and break it down into pieces that feel manageable to me. Like, can I lose 2 pounds this week? Yes, I feel very confident that I can.

Is it realistic for me to think that I can lose 2 pounds this week? Yes, it is.

So, there you go. And later on, as it gets tougher, I may have to adjust my goal, but that’s ok. If I drove all the way to Sweetwater and got a flat, would I turn all the way around and go back home? No. I would have to take some time and deal with the situation and then continue forward. (AND THAT RIGHT THERE FOLKS HAS BEEN MY BIGGEST ISSUE)

Life is going to happen and get in the way and I’ve got to give myself some slack. This does not have to be a perfect process. Because in the end, is the 100 pounds my REAL goal? No. I want to be healthier and happier, I want to have a family, I want to treat my body as a temple. Those are the real goals and they are so much more important than the number.

Gaining Ground

21 Oct
This scale is hilarious! So, am I a duck today or a buffalo?
I had successfully avoided weighing in two weeks in a row, but I bit the bullet last night and went to my WW meeting. I was absolutely expecting to gain weight- lots of it in fact. As I previously reported, the last three weeks have been totally off the grid. I got back on the wagon just this Sunday, but the past 3 days must have done some good because last night, when I stepped on the scale…
Are you ready for this?
I had only gained .6 lbs!!! I wish I hadn’t gained at all, but it could have been MUCH worse! It only reinforces my determination. Imagine how much weight could be off by now if I had been on track!
Today is going to be tricky. We are celebrating at my office and lunch is being provided and dessert too… I’m planning to stick to my lean cuisine and have some pudding! Wish me luck! Die evil lunch, die!

Back on the Wagon!

19 Oct

I am just so excited that I had to go ahead and blog about it! I am officially back on the wagon. I am ready to re-commit to my weight loss/health goals. (Not that I ever gave up, just had to take a moment to focus on other aspects of my life for a bit)
I figured something out this weekend that is crucial to my success daily- I have to have breakfast! If I start out the day with a good breakfast, it is MUCH easier for me to stay on track for the rest of the day. To take it a step further, I have to have my breakfast planned the night before because I am NOT a morning person. If I don’t have something planned and something easy, I won’t eat.
I am sure that I gained some weight during the last 3 weeks. I am not going to worry about it. If I get too upset or put too much pressure on myself, I will just want to give up. I have to make it okay for myself to “mess up” from time to time. I will know for sure when I weigh in Tuesday.
You have all been so encouraging, and I really appreciate it! I am excited to be back on my journey and feel so hopeful for what’s to come!

Losing for Winning

1 Oct

I’ve been sharing my weight loss successes (and sometimes failures) online for quite a while now. It has been an amazing experience over the years. I have shared my victories and struggles, and I have had so much support from so many. This week, when I reported my weight loss through my Facebook status, I was asked by an old friend how I was managing to do it. I told him that I was doing Weight Watchers, but that I was just eating the stuff we know is healthy (whole grains, lean meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) and staying away from the stuff we know is unhealthy. He then remarked that it sounded so simple. He had always thought losing weight was tough to do. And I wasn’t sure what to say about that.
On the one hand, it is simple. Just eat what is good for you, in an appropriate portion and exercise. It really is just that simple.
On the other hand, it is so complicated and emotional and hard. There are so many aspects of ourselves and our lives that are wrapped up in what we eat. Eventhough food is meant to just nourish our bodies and give them the fuel they need, it means so much more to us emotionally. That’s the hard part to deal with.
I think first and foremost, I have to say that my own personal weight loss is not driven by a desire to be “skinny.” At one point in time, that was something I was deeply concerned with, but just isn’t important anymore. I am being driven by a desire to be healthy- emotionally and physically. Eventhough I have not yet faced any serious physical issues related to being obese, I have had enough to know that I don’t want to continue down this road. I want to be able to run around the yard with little ones. I want to be able to bend over without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I want energy. Those are the goals that motivate me now, and it has made all the difference in the world.
Basically I’ve decided to start sharing the details of this journey with you. I will blog once a week about my progress and let you in on what’s working for me.
I am by no means a professional and what’s working for me may or may not have any relevance to you, but I’ve come a long way and if my story can help someone else make this journey- it will all be worth it!
So, here are my current stats:
Current weight: 305.6 lbs.
Current weight loss: -13 pounds in 3 weeks
Please check out these links to past blogs about my weight loss/weight issues:
I am satisfied today, not because I had a Snickers, and not because I didn’t have a Snickers. I am satisfied because what I am eating is nourishing me. I am not hungry. I am not in pain. I am not feeling guilty and ashamed. Instead I feel energy, I feel comfortable, I feel satisfied.

Winning Wednesday- Today is the Day

5 Aug
** WARNING **
This blog contains pictures that are incredibly embarrassing and potentially disgusting. Proceed with caution.



Ugh…
Today’s Weight: 317.6 lbs.
Measurements: TBD (Couldn’t find my little measuring tape)
BMI: 51.3 (Obese)

This time last year I had lost over 20 pounds with WW, Wii Fit and swimming all summer. I was feeling amazing! Then the school year started, my stress level went to an all time high, and I threw it all to the wayside. In January, I was proud that I had only gained back 5 pounds and was determined to turn it around again. We joined a gym, restarted our diet, and were doing great until school kicked back into stress mode for me. (Are you sensing a pattern?)

My first goals are:

1. Lose 20 lbs. to get under 300

2. Find a better way to deal with stress

I am going to start WW again this weekend. I just need the structure to keep me on track. I have joined a WW support group on Facebook- Chunky Monkeys NO More! It’s made up of some girls from back home and they have already been very inspiring and positive.

I also have a workout buddy lined up! Thank you Michelle! I am really looking forward to being active again. I really do have more energy and feel better when I’m exercising.

I am so excited!

Winning Wednesday- Week 1

28 Jul
Awww, isn’t he precious?

A girl I went to high school with is now a portrait photographer with a quite successful business in Lubbock. I know this because she has photographed most of my friend’s children and families. You can check out her work HERE.

So what does this have to do with Winning Wednesday??? I want one. A baby. In ways that I don’t even know how to express. My body just gravitates towards them and I’m left with a yearning that defies all logic. It’s time, and I know it with every fiber of my being…

The rub is that I have to do some serious work on my health first. Of course that includes losing some weight, but more importantly it means making some serious lifestyle changes. I know what I need to do, but I’ve lacked the motivation… but not any more.

I am not even going to call it dieting- I’m not going to count calories or points or whatever. I am just going to eat what is good and in the right proportions. And I’m going to get some exercise. And I’m going to take vitamins. And I’m going to get enough sleep. And I’m going to do everything that I need to do to be healthy.

I will be posting every week with pictures and progress. But first, I need your help!

Please suggest your favorite workout tunes! Mine is Knights of Cydonia by Muse… I am trying to fill up my iPod with motivating music!